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Ever since the clove of my birth, life has been a struggle. I don't believe there has been one day where there has ever truly been a moment of piece. Every day is a new fight, a new cliff and a new bottom. Times have changed and the sequences of those events are not as closely intertwined as they were before. but they still exist.

And although I am in a new place, with new faces, new blessings, there is still that same darkness, that same presence that has followed me since the beginning. He is always there, in the eyes of a stranger, beneath the cracks of the cobbled and broken bricks, in the shadows of the trees. It's like no matter what I do, or where I go, nothing changes. Sure some of the residential ones have left and that's why I know not to visit those places again, primarily because the Holy Spirit led me to not go there. But he is always there no matter what, vile and evil and I can see him, even when others can not. Because he is not interested in their world; their own blindness deceives them so why should he put forth any effort?

Perhaps this is the reason why friends are non-existant.....families are there then taken away. I am always moving, like a lone vagabond.

Places I Don't Care To Live

Ok so I have visited a few cities now and know (beyond a shadow of a doubt) that there are a few that God probably does not intend for me to live in......ever. Number one: Washington D.C. This city is so filled up with politics and fake people in general, it's almost impossible to even know if the Starbucks on the end of the street corner is really Starbucks or not. And it's not just D.C it is about every city in Northern Virginia too. The people appear to be nice, but trust me, its totally the opposite way around. Number two: Boston. This city had many more perks than D.C. (Fenway Park, Boston Harbor, the small Italian corner of the city) but frankly it felt a little boring. You have Harvard, Yale and Cambridge, along with other "big name" colleges, but I guess because it is such an academic machination in such a small area, the college students lack personality. The only people I saw with a personality were the street performers and the homeless. In fact, Boston just felt like an industrialized version of Camden County with more individuals from Asian or Korean descent. What was strange was how many people loved, I mean adored, country music! It was on the streets, at the baseball game, in the church we helped build, everywhere it seemed. The same could be said about Philadelphia too, although Philly was more diverse. It wasn't as clean as Boston but it was ok. It fell in the category between D.C. and Boston. Oh well, at least I know now haha.