Wow, so I was not expecting to be gone so long from this. Life has definitely been a whirlwind for me. I moved to North Carolina whereby I met some amazing new people, grew as an individual and ultimately had my faith and beliefs tested like never before. Since moving in August I have arrived at many forks in the road of life; some with two paths so drastically different the obvious path was clear, and some paths so similar, I would ultimately have to sit and wait for a sign. The paths I have chosen are definitely the "ones less traveled by" (Robert Frost), yet they "have made all the difference".
Some people I have talked to regarding my relationship with Christ and my faith caused me to leave the school I initiallly attended while upon arriving to NC. Whereas before I believed through shades of black and white, after a few months of taking risks, meeting new people (raw people) and finding many facades and unawered questions at the seminary school, I began to view the world (as well as the individuals within) in a totally different light. Alas, my final reason for leaving this school involved a culmination of all of the above, including, but not limited too, my sexuality. However, since leaving the school and arriving at the clove of 2010, life has been much better. Already the first three months of this year have been the happiest of life since I was 15. Even those very limited few that have had the chance to really get to know the real Josh have told me how happy I am and how much happier I sound and appear to others. Which was very tough considering I had been battling with suicide since I was 14; thankfully I finally won that battle after many years and with the help of Christ finally overcame my romance with self-destruction. The school I attended and the people I had met at many of the churches I visited did not help my situation, considering the fact that I had never been told so many times in my life that I was going to go to hell. Apparently, I am going to go to hell because my hair color is different; I wore too much dark clothing; I wore some eyeliner; I thought about life and death; I searched for answers. However, the greatest compliment I received was from a close Christian friend of mine, who has the most amazing testimony ever, next to my best friend Jake Templeton at the school I attended. She (Brianne) told me she could tell I had the Holy Spirit within me and that I loved Christ when it came down to the wire. This meant the world too me, because I know what I beleive, and I have never denied Christ to anyone. Some say you can't be Christian and gay......well technically speaking you can't be a Christian and a liar either, or an adulterer, or a murderer; because ultimately in God's eyes all sin is the same. Yet that is a whole other topic I will discuss later. So to anyone that follows me this is my update. Hope this year is just as great for you.
